That Mom...

Yes, everyone, I was that mom at Chic-Fil-A tonight.  You know the one.  The one whose kid didn't want to leave the play area and kicked and cried.  The one whose one year old went this way and the three year old went that way.  And finally the one held her one year old and quickly (but not too quickly so as not to entice the three year old to go faster) chased after her three year old across the outdoor patio, along the side of the drive-through line/building, watched as said three year old fell into the drive-through then proceeded up the line of cars until firmly caught by that mom.  Yeah, that was me tonight....

I was horrified, furious, embarrassed, and more scared than I've ever been in my whole entire life.  When both kids were safely in the car, I walked around to give Eleanor a stern talking to and I crumbled in tears. As I settled back into my seat, all of the "what-ifs" and "she could have been..." raced through my mind and I couldn't stop the flow of tears!   How did I let this happen?  How did she get away so fast?  Why didn't I do xyz instead of what I did?  And finally, thanking my protector, God in Heaven, that nothing happened!  Even now, hours later, I could still cry just replaying the whole scene in my head.  

Eleanor is definitely in a pusing-my-boundaries-how-far-and-how-fast-can-I-get-away-from-mom independent phase lately but tonight was the culmination!  I will definitely be having frequent talks with her on parking lot safety and stranger-danger.  But, how to instill a healthy fear, rather than a phobia??
Ugh...why can't they just come with a manual or a pause button?  Either would be graciously accepted at this moment.

Watching her sleep sweetly next to me (yeah...that's another post for another day), I love her with every fiber of my being and even though I was supremely angry with her, I can't stay mad for long!  She melts my heart several times a day and I'm so thankful SHE is MY daughter.