Eleanor's Debut

I know I'm a little backwards and this story should probably be first, but time is permitting me now so here it is, the birth story of my Eleanor Rose...

January 30th, 2009 I bought a new car, I just had this need to have a safe vehicle for my daughter.  I did my research, test drove my top picks and decided on the Subaru Forrester.  We went to dinner to celebrate, where I had some nice non-heartburning chicken and water-yum!  Unfortunately even that produced the burning and burping I had become so accustomed to.  So, Pepcid and Tums on board, I stayed up a little late to make sure I was digested enough to not wake up at 2 am still hurting.  Finally I lumbered to bed around 11pm.  

Around 1am I got up to pee.  As I was settling back into bed I felt a trickle running down my leg.  I sat up a little and this trickle became stronger.  I woke up Matt and told him he wouldn't be going to his recruiting appointment that day because I was sure my water was breaking.  As he turned on the light I stood up and felt a gush of liquid run down my leg.  Yea!!  It's time I thought, so excited and nervous.  He asked "Is it supposed to be bloody?"  I hadn't had the chance to look down yet, so I looked at the bed then at my legs and my whole world turned u

pside down.  Still leaking I told him NO, it was not supposed to be bloody and that we needed to get moving NOW.  

I told him where the card for the doctor's number was and asked him to wake up my parents.  I walked on a towel to the bathroom and sat down on the toilet and more bloody fluid came out.  Now I'm working up to full panic mode.  I turned on the water and waited for it to warm up, it seemed to take forever.  I couldn't wait any longer so I got in, dressed from the top up and cleaned the blood and clots off my legs.  Matt came back down and we were waiting for the doctor to call back.  As expected Dr. Golden told us to get to the hospital immediately.  I dressed, put a pad on since I was still leaking and headed upstairs.

When I got upstairs I noticed the coffee pot was on, brewing a fresh pot and my mom's hair was wet.  I was astounded.  Here I am, BLEEDING and freaking out and they're thinking coffee and "freshening up?"  All I could think was "Are you kidding me?"  I told my mom to hurry up that we needed to go now and she was somewhat confused.  Apparently my ever calm husband was so calm that mom and John didn't get the urgency of the situation.  I'm not insulting Matt at all, it was his calmness that carried me through this ordeal, but the message didn't get translated clear enough!  After I told mom that I was bleeding she started to freak out, to which I told her she was not allowed to that and I needed her to be stay collected.  Luckily she dried her hair quickly as I put the last few items in the suitcase and we were out the door in the new car!

We pulled up to the ER entrance and they wheeled me upstairs to the labor and delivery floor with a quickness that I appreciated.  However, the nurse in triage didn't move quite as swiftly.  I understand that a few basic questions need to be asked but NOT health history.  A light went on when she asked if I was still bleeding and I said yes because she moved me back to a room with a monitor.  Finally, a monitor to see what my baby was doing!  

The monitor was placed and the sweetest sound came into the room-my baby's heartbeat, fast and strong.  I started to breathe a little more slowly.  Matt called in an update to mom and John, Dad and Kathy were on their way and Kelly was on the phone.  A few residents came, examined me and were waiting for Dr. Golden.  A bedside ultrasound showed that I had partial placenta previa with a possible abruption.  Which means that my placenta (the baby's life support) was partially covering my cervix and had a tear in it, causing the bleeding.

Dr. Golden came in, assessed the situation and gave us the news that I dreaded hearing-we needed to get the baby out now and a c-section was our only option.  I started shaking and was so scared but I consented, knowing this was what we needed.  Oddly, I was less afraid of the cut and more apprehensive about the epidural.  

We spread the news and I was taken to the OR.  The epidural was placed and yes it was painful and I hated every moment of it.  The nurses mentioned getting Matt but nobody was leaving and they were getting ready to start.  I loudly asked for my husband and someone went to get him.  He came in, all dressed in blue paper looking excited and concerned.  I got sick from the medicine and he backed away a little bit, I guess I wasn't as digested as I thought-yuck!  The doctors told him to watch as his baby was being born and then the room filled with her cries.  I have never felt so relieved in my whole life.  We had been waiting for this moment for nine long months.  Yet I still felt disappointed.  This is not how I was supposed to deliver and this is not the birth story I was supposed to be writing.  I wanted a natural delivery, no complications.  Well, God had a different plan for us and I had to accept it.  As they were stitching me up Matt came over to me with my baby, MY baby.  Wow what a beautiful sight. The man I love holding our creation.  She was more than beautiful and perfect.  At that point, who cared how she got here and what my expectations of her arrival were.  As he layed her on my chest and she looked up at me, time stopped and all that mattered was my family.  Holy crap, I'M A MOMMY NOW!!!

In the recovery room I was able to hold her in my arms for the first time.  We snuggled a little, then Matt would take her and get his cuddles in.  He was so confident with her and so loving with both of us, I fell even more in love with him.  The nurses helped me breastfeed which was a weird sensation at first then I could feel the bond starting to grow with my daughter.  The grandparents arrived and played pass the baby for a little while.  Around 7 am I was taken to my room to start my journey as a mother.

I have no regrets about what happened, how could I?  The staff at Akron City Hospital were wonderful, from the residents to the lactation consultants.  It took only 2hrs and 20 minutes from the time I felt the water break to her delivery.  I thank God everyday for her and that I felt that first trickle.  I try not think of the what ifs and could have beens and focus on Eleanor's sweet face.  

And what a sweet face this is!

Mother & daughter

Our first family photo

Sleeping angel

What's we've been up to!

Today we had our first play date!  Tiffany and Reagan came up from Columbus to meet Eleanor.  I had bought them matching outfits a while ago and they were so cute.  Reagan fills out her tomato shirt a little better than my little peanut, but Eleanor will grow into it I'm sure!  We couldn't get them together, either crying or happy!  But they are both so darn adorable it doesn't matter, take a look...

It was great to see them, it's always nice to commiserate with other mothers.  Speaking of other mommies, I went to a breastfeeding support group and it was so helpful.  It was from 11am to 1pm at The Breastfeeding Center.  It is a center that runs a few support groups, baby massage and a store.  Naturally I got starry eyed in the store, it has everything for breastfeeding, swaddling and anything in between.  It was hard to control myself.

The first hour of the group moms sit around, weigh their babies (before feeding), feed their babies and chat, then weigh the baby again to see how much she took.  The second hour a lactation consultant comes in and moms can ask questions, get help with latching and discuss issues.  It was great.  I realized I am not alone in my obsessive need to make breastfeeding work and my baby is not the only non-perfect child out there.  The babies just hang out eating, playing on blankets or cuddling in their mommies arms (as was the case with my little attachment!).  I learned a lot and was very encouraged.  I even made a few friends.  I'm so excited to go back.

 I've decided to go with reusable all-in-one cloth diapers.  A few of the mothers in the support group use them and love them.  I was going to do a diaper service for a while, then get the prefold diapers.  The ones that I'm trying out are sooo much better.  I'm testing the Bum Genius, Fuzzi Bunz and Thirsties brands.  They are fantastic and I can't wait to use them exclusively.  I'll let you know which one wins!

The one downfall was that Eleanor isn't gaining weight appropriately.  She has only gained about 5 ounces in 2 wks and is just barely up to her birth weight.  I'm trying not to overreact but I'm frustrated.  Luckily, as I mentioned before, I'm obsessively committed to overcoming all challenges and have a healthy, happy breastfed baby!  I'm sure with the support of the moms at the Breastfeeding Center I'll succeed...as if there is another option ;)

Things Eleanor loves

When Mommy does my hair and Cory, except when he barks

Sleeping in anyone's arms that is willing

My little lambie swing

My daddy, don't I look good in blue?

My Aunt Kelly

She has a cold right now, which of course has me worried sick.  I'm sure she'll be fine, I just hate hearing her cough.  We're going to watch her closely and keep the doctor's number on speed dial!  Other than that, the Smiths are doing well.  Still working on that sleeping thing, but I've heard from a few seasoned mamas that 6 weeks is a magical age and I'm very much looking forward to that!  Luckily we have so much help that I'm able to get some sleep and give my arms a rest.

A few silent moments...

Well, we've been home now for 2 weeks with Eleanor and it's been a rough road!  This week I was all on my own and tested.  Everyone says to "sleep when she sleeps" but that's hard sometimes.  I feel like I need to be doing something, there is always something to do!  Plus, something I ate wreaked havoc on her little belly and sleep was hard to come by for both of us.  It's amazing how little sleep a mom actually needs to feel ok.  Today, she rested for about an hour and a half and I feel pretty good.  She is just starting to stir, so this first blog of mine will be cut short.  I'll post pictures later and video.  I know it's terrible but I video taped her crying, it's too cute...for a short while, then it becomes heartbreaking!